Mama

For those of you who know me, I try to be a realist. I think my family would maybe call me a pessimist, but I just try to be realistic, which means preparing for the worst sometimes. So when the best case scenario happens, I am especially excited... Like right now.

Emmy was extubated at about 10:55 this morning and she has, since then, acted as if it is no big deal. At first, she was a bit agitated- not in a bad way where she was struggling to breath though. The breathing was fine, but it was like she was hyper and wanted to move around and couldn't. Plus, I was holding her and trying to snuggle and she didn't like it. She is just too big to hold like a baby, and her muscles are too weak for her to hold herself up. So we put her back in bed and she got settled. My mom came to visit a short while later and was reading her one of her favorite books, "Biscuit." Emerson was really focused on the pages and when my mom would say, "woof, woof" Emmy would move her mouth into an o shape and try to repeat it. We got so excited, and I came over and went through all the animal sounds with her again, and she would move her mouth into the formations mine were in as I repeated the sound. Then, though, I asked her to say "mama" and she did!! In her raspy whisper she said mama. She did it three times for us. My mom was balling and we ran to show the nurse and then she would move her mouth and not say it. I tried to record it, but she wouldn't do it. You can tell by looking at her eyes when she is really focused and when she is distracted, and she was distracted again. She said it though, to me, three times. This changed everything for me. I am so, so hopeful right now.

The reason I wanted to record this was for our doctors. I wanted to show them what she could do because of them. We NEVER expected her to talk today. I thought if she made some whimpers or small babbles we would be lucky. I never expected words. I was bummed when I could not get this recorded for her doctors. Dr. Bhatia saved Emerson's life. The odds were against her and it is because we came to Loyola and because he was her doctor those first few days that she is here. Then, she started getting better with Dr. Webster; her liver and kidneys recovered. Dr. Webster gives her goals, and Emerson responds. Dr. Wang weaned Emmy. They all did, but she really made progress to get off the sedation with Dr. Wang. She also likes to challenge Dr. Wang: when the doctor said how difficult it would be for Emmy to move given the drugs she had been on, Emerson, at that moment, moved her foot for Dr. Wang to see. Then there is Dr. Ubogy. He had a very serious plan to get her extubated. He got her down to her dry weight; he cleaned up her lungs with more aggressive CPT and different vent settings. Then, he handed her back to Dr. Webster with this plan, and because she was so observant of Emerson, decided Emmy was telling us to take the tube out one day earlier, and based on what I am seeing, I think Emmy is very grateful for that.

Emmy is resting sooo peacefully right now, and I am still too excited to sit still after hearing her say mama two hours ago. How will I ever be able to thank these doctors for giving me my sweet Emmy back? Maybe I'll think of something as she sleeps and I lay awake.