Emerson: a comparison

I cannot even begin to count the number of times I have begun a sentence with the phrase "Before she got sick, Emerson would..."  I get asked questions all the time by doctors, therapists, nurses, and concerned or curious people we meet concerning what she was like or what she could do.  It is part of the rehabilitation process to know where she was, so we understand how far we have to go.  I think I also make these statements, though, without being asked because I want them to know that girl, because I want them to know why we miss that girl, because I DO miss that girl every single day, and because  I cannot help but desperately look for that girl in everything she does each day.  Here is a brief summary:

Before she got sick, Emerson would get up early... like 5 or 6 a.m.  Now, Emmy sleeps in.
Before she got sick, Emerson would wake up abruptly, jump up and call for us loudly and chatter all day.  Now, Emmy has a hard time waking up; she takes her time, and then points for food and whimpers if she doesn't get it quickly enough.
Before she got sick, breakfast was Emerson's worst meal because would much rather start playing.  Now, Emmy eats the most at breakfast, taking her time to get as many calories as her starving stomach can hold.
Before she got sick, Emerson would sit or fall down and giggle and say, "Oop oop!"  Now, Emmy gets the littlest bump and whimpers or cries and asks to snuggle.
Before she got sick, Emerson took very short naps. Now, Emmy loves, loves, loves to nap.
Before she got sick, Emerson would point at dogs and say, "Woof, Woof!"  Now, Emmy points her fingers up her nose to itch or at her mouth for food.

Before she got sick, Emerson would move carefully so as not to get hurt; now, Emerson moves VERY carefully so as not to get hurt.
Before she got sick, Emerson refused pureed meats; now, Emerson finds pureed meats abhorrent.
Before she got sick, Emerson liked to snuggle; now, Emerson LOVES to snuggle.
Before she got sick, Emerson loved to scream; now, Emerson's voice disappears as she tries to scream.
Before she got sick, Emerson charmed everyone into liking her; now, Emerson charms everyone into LOVING her.

Sometimes, I feel these comparisons are unfair; sometimes, I think it is ONLY fair to continue to make them to demonstrate the hope that she CAN fully recover, that she WILL become that girl again.

I could not help but reflect on these things throughout the day because, I think, today was such a blah day.  There was nothing new and exciting that she did like other days.  For instance, yesterday she took liquids for the first time after she ROCKED her swallow study.  Today, she wasn't as interested in drinking, and she was SO TIRED, the she couldn't eat as many calories as yesterday (despite my best efforts to add butter to EVERYTHING).

Oh well.  Tomorrow is another day, and I can only hope she needed all this extra rest today to do something BIG tomorrow.  And speaking of tomorrows... we only have 8 tomorrows left before being discharged.  The doctor has asked our insurance to keep us here until December 9th; insurance negotiated with the 6th, but I imagine that the doctors will get there way- they have had to appeal on our behalf many times now and usually get their way :).  SOOOO... we are hopeful to be home next weekend.  The reason they want to keep her another week is to make sure she is properly fed and hydrated.  If she does not start consuming more calories in the next four days, Brian and I will have to be trained to put the feeding tube back in so she can get extra calories every night via a feeding tube.  We are trying our best to avoid that, but either way, this next week is about getting Emmy enough hydration and calories so she can safely go home with us.

Brian will be around this weekend, so maybe you'll get some exciting videos instead of some random, boring, verbose tirades.

PS-  the finger up the nose thing mentioned earlier... I have been wanting to tell her to stop doing that, but I was told by her OT that it is actually a good thing because she is using her pointer with both hands and it is a higher order skill (who knew?) so I allow it... for now :)